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Marriage In Islam At A Glance:

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are signs for those who reflect."
[ Quran 30:21 ]

Marriage serves as a means to emotional and sexual gratification and as a means of tension reduction. It is also a form of Ibadah(Worship) because it is obeying Allah and his messenger - i.e. Marriage is seen as the only possible way for the sexes to unite. One could choose to live in sin, however by choosing marriage one is displaying obedience to Allah.
Marriage is a solemn covenant (agreement). It is not a matter which can be taken lightly. It should be entered into with total commitment and full knowledge of what it involves. It is not like buying a new dress where you can exchange it if you don't like it. For a marriage to be valid certain conditions must be met.
According to Imams Abu Hanifah, Ahmad ibn Hanbal and Malik ibn Anas, marriage is recommendatory, however in certain individuals it becomes wajib/obligatory. Imam Shaafi'i considers it to be nafl or mubah (preferable). The general opinion is that if a person, male or female fears that if he/she does not marry they will commit fornication, then marriage becomes "wajib". If a person has strong sexual urges then it becomes "wajib" for that person to marry. Marriage should not be put off or delayed especially if one has the means to do so.
A man, however should not marry if he or she does not possess the means to maintain a wife and future family, or if he has no sex drive or if dislikes children, or if he feels marriage will seriously affect his religious obligation.
The general principle is that prophet (pbuh) enjoined up in the followers to marry.
He said
"when a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion
so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half." This hadith is narrated by Anas. Islam greatly encourages marriage because it shields one from and upholds the family unit which Islam places great importance.

The wifes rights - the Husbands obligations.
(1) Maintenance The husband is responsible for the wifes maintenance. This right is established by authority of the Qur'an and the sunnah. It is inconsequen tial whether the wife is a Muslim , non-Muslim, rich, poor, healthy or sick. A component of his role as "qawam" (leader) is to bear the financial responsibility of the family in a generous way so that his wife may be assured security and thus perform her role devotedly.
The wifes maintenance entails her right to lodging, clothing, food and general care, like medication, hospital bills etc. He must lodge her where he resides himself according to his means. The wifes lodge must be adequate so as to ensure her privacy, comfort and independence.
If a wife has been used to a maid or is unable to attend to her household duties, it is the husbands duty to provide her with a maid if he can afford to do so. The prophet is reported to have said:The best Muslim is one who is the best husband.
(2) "Mahr " The wife is entitled to a marriage gift that is her own. This may be prompt or deferred depending on the agreement between the parties. A marriage is not valid without mahr. It does not have to be money or gold. It can be non-material like teaching her to read the Qur'an. " Mahr" is a gift from the groom to the bride. This is the Islamic law, unlike some cultures whereby the brides parents pay the future husband to marry the daughter. This practice degrades women and is contrary to the spirit of Islam. There is no specification in the Qur'an as to what or how much the Mahr has to be. It depends on the parties involved.
(3) Non-material rights. A husband is commanded by the law of Allah to treat his wife with equity, respect her feelings and show kindness and consideration, especially if he has another wife. The prophet last sermon stresses kindness to women.
The wife obligations - the Husbands rights. One of the main duties of the wife is to contribute to the success and blissfulness of the marriage. She must be attentive to the comfort and wellbeing of her husband. The Qur'anic ayah which illustrates this point is:
"Our lord, grant us wives and offspring who will be the apples of our eyes and guide us to be models for the righteous"
The wife must be faithful, trustworthy and honest she must not deceive her husband by deliberately avoiding contraception. She must not allow any other person to have access to that which is exclusively the husband right i.e. sexual intimacy. She must not receive or entertain strange males in the house without his knowledge and consent. She should not be alone with a strange male. She should not accept gifts from other men without his approval. This is meant to avoid jealousy, suspicion and gossip. The husband possessions are her trust. She may not dispose of his belongings without his permission.
A wife should make herself sexually attractive to her husband and be responsive to his advances. The wife must not refuse her husband sexually as this can lead to marital problems and worse still - tempt the man to adultery. The husband of course should take into account the wifes health and general consideration should be given.

 FORCED MARRIAGE IN ISLAM
May a father force his virgin daughter who attained puberty to marry? Two well-known opinions in this regard are reported from Ahmad:
That he may compel her. This is also the opinion of Maalik, ash-Shaafi`ee, and others.
That he may not. This is also the opinion of Aboo Haneefah and others, and is the correct one.
People have differed as tot he reason permitting the compulsion: whether it is virginity, the daughter being under-aged, or a combination of both. The closest opinion to the truth is her being under-aged, whereas no one can compel a grown-up virgin in marriage. Aboo Hurayrah, radhiallahu `anhu reported that the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, said:
"A non-virgin woman may not be married without her command, and a virgin may not be married without her permission; and enough permission for her is to remain silent (because of her natural shyness)." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim, and others]
Thus the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, prohibits forcing a virgin in marriage without her permission, whether it be her father or someone else. Furthermore, `Aa';ishah, radhiallahu `anhaa, said that she asked the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, "In the case of a young girl whose parents marry her, should her permission be sought or not?" He replied, "Yes, she must give her permission." She then said, "But a virgin will be shy, O Allaah's Messenger." He answered:
"Her silence is [considered as] her permission." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim, and others]
This applies to the father as well as others. Furthermore, Islaam does not give the father the right to use any of her wealth without her permission, how then could he be allowed to decide, without her permission, how her body (which is more important than her wealth) is to be used, specially when she disagrees to that and is mature to decide for herself?
Also, there is evidence and concensus in Islaam to restrict an underage person's free control of his wealth or person. However, to make a virginity a reason for the restriction contradicts the Islaamic basis.
As for the difference between the non-virgin and virgin in the hadeeth of the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, it is not a differentiation between compulsion and non-compulsion; the difference between the two cases is that (a) the former gives her instructions for the marriage whereas the latter gives permission, and that (b) the virgin's silence counts as a permission. The reason for this is that a virgin would be shy to discuss the matter of marriage, so she is not proposed to directly; rather, her walee (guardian) is approached, he takes her permission, and then she gives him the permission not the command to marry her.
And as for a non-virgin, she would not have the shyness of virginity anymore; thus she can discuss the matter of her marriage, she can be proposed to, and she gives the command to her walee to perform the marriage, and he must obey her.
Thus the walee is command-executor in the case of the non-virgin, and is permission-seeker in the case of the virgin. This is what the Prophet's words indicate. As for compelling her to marry despite her loathing to do so, this would contradict the fundamentals and reason. Allaah ta`ala did not permit a walee to force her to sell or rent her property without her permission. Neither did He permit him to force her to eat or drink or wear that which she does not wish. How would He then oblige her to accompany and copulate with a person whose company she hates - at the time when Allaah ta`ala has sent between the two spouses love and mercy? If such company happens despite her hatred and repulsion, where is the love and mercy?

M O R E   O N   M A R R I A G E

Islamic law regarding marriage
Islam recognizes value of sex and advocates marriage. Islam does not believe in celibacy.
The Prophet of Islam has said,
 "Marriage is my Sunnah (that is recommended action of the Prophet) and whoever does not follow my Sunnah is not my true follower."
(Ibn Haiah, Babun Nikah)
Allah has commanded the Muslims to marry:
"And marry those among you who are single…."
(24:33)
In Islam, marriage is essentially a contract. However, the distinction between sacred and secular was never explicit in Islam.
 Any action or transaction in Islam has religious implications.
It is not quite accurate, therefore, to designate marriage in Islam simply as a secular contract.
The appropriate designation of marriage could be a "Divine Institution".
For a valid marriage, the following conditions must be satisfied: There must be a clear proposal.
There must be a clear acceptance. There must be at least two competent witnesses.
This is necessary to exclude illicit sex and to safeguard legitimacy of progeny.
It is recommended that marriage should be widely publicized.
There must be a marriage gift, little or more, by the bridegroom to the bride.
Dowry or marriage gift by bridegroom to the bride is a symbolic expression of the groom's cognizance of the economic
responsibilities of marriage andof his readiness to assume all such responsibilities subsequent to marriage.
Dowry is not any price paid either to wife or family of the wife.
The general principle is that dowry should be estimated according to the circumstances with emphasis on moderation.
 The Prophet (Sm) is reported to have said that the most blessed marriage is that which is least costly and most easy.
It is permissible for a Muslim man to see the women to whom he intends to propose marriage before taking further steps
so that he can enter into the marriage with full knowledge. This has been permitted in Islam to avoid further misunderstanding.
The Prophet (Sm) has said
 "When one of you asks for woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what induce him to marry her, he should do so."
(Narrated in the book of tradition of Abu Daud)
However, it is not permitted in Islam for a man to be alone with a woman in the name of selection of spouse.
It is the girl's right to make decision concerning her marriage and her father or guardian has no right to over-ride her objections or ignore her wishes.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) has said,
"A woman who has been previously married has more right concerning her person than her guardian and a virgin's consent must be asked about herself,
her consent being her silence."
(Narrated in the books of tradition of Bukhari and Muslim)
It is permanently prohibited for a Muslim to marry a woman of the following categories:
Father's wife, whether divorced or widowed, The mother including grand mothers, The daughter including grand daughter,
The sisters including half and step sisters, The paternal aunt, whether real, half or step sister of the father,
The maternal aunt, whether real, half or step sister of mother, The brother's daughter and The sister's daughter.
These restrictions have been imposed by Allah in his wisdom to increase trust among close relations
by prohibiting incestuous relations,increase love and affection among close relations, expand family ties beyond close circle etc.
In Islam marriage is also prohibited with foster mother who has suckled him during the period of weaning and with foster sisters, foster aunt and foster nieces.
Islam has also prohibited marriage with mother in law, the stepdaughter, and the daughter in law. Islam has also forbidden having two sisters as co-wives.
It is also prohibited to marry a woman who is a Mushrik that is who worships idols or associates other deities with Allah. Allah says in His book, the Quran,
"And do not marry Mushrik women until they believe." (2:221)
It is however lawful for Muslim men to marry chaste women (that is women of virtue and character) from among the Jews and the Christians. Allah says in His Book,
"(And lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women form those who were given the scripture before you." (5:5)
"It is not permissible for Muslim women to marry non-Muslim men." (2:221 and 60:10)
Allah has been more kind to the women and has not put on her extra stress and probable difficulties in living with a husband of another faith.
Islam has allowed man to marry more than one woman but has put serious restrictions on this.
 It requires agreement of the new wife, his ability to maintain more than one wife, equality among the wives, etc.
 It is for this reason that very few Muslim men marry more than one woman. Islam has allowed this to man to curb illicit sex.
 Illicit sex is a very degenerating thing for humanity and leads to debasement of women through prostitution. Islam has totally rejected prostitution.
Islamic law regarding marriage is easy, practical, rational and in keeping with human nature. Humanity can only benefit by following these regulations in true spirit.

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